Chapter 7 - The wrist

The wrist injury happened twelve weeks before the stairs.
Less serious.
More revealing in hindsight.
Graham and I were arguing in our bedroom.
Judith had booked us into a family beach house for a week without asking.
I could not take the full week off work.
Graham said:
“Then come Friday.”
“I’m not using vacation days because your mother scheduled my life.”
“You make everything sound sinister.”
“I make calendars sound like calendars.”
I tried to leave the room.
He stood in the doorway.
“Finish the conversation.”
“I’m done.”
“No.”
That word from him felt different.
I stepped sideways.
He caught my right wrist.
“Graham.”
“Stop walking away.”
“Let go.”
I pulled.
He held.
I pulled harder.
My wrist struck the doorframe.
Pain.
He released immediately.
“Jesus.”
I cradled it.
He said:
“You did that.”
Technically, my hand hit the frame because I pulled.
His hand had been around my wrist because he decided I could not leave.
The next morning it was swollen.
I bought a brace.
Told my supervisor I slipped in the bathroom.
Why that lie?
It came instantly.
Maybe because bathroom slips sound ordinary.
Maybe because I had already absorbed the rule:
Private problems stay private.
The X-ray months later showed the tiny avulsion fracture had healed.
I had been carrying a broken wrist through work, dinner, laundry, emails, and Sunday meals while telling myself I was dramatic for staying angry.
That knowledge made me furious in the hospital.
Not only at Graham.
At myself.
Then I remembered what Dr. Mercer said.
“You don’t have to decide what word to use tonight.”
May you like
So I did not call myself stupid.
Not that night.