Soft

Chapter 12 - Patricia’s theory of me

Patricia did not think of herself as cruel.

That was important.

She thought I was manipulative.

Her husband, Michael’s father, had died five years earlier after a long illness.

Patricia had been his caregiver.

According to Michael, his father sometimes refused medication.

Refused food.

Refused physical therapy.

Patricia forced routine.

He improved temporarily.

From that experience she built a belief:

Sick people cannot always be trusted about what they need.

There is truth inside that in limited medical situations.

Capacity matters.

Emergency care exists.

But I had capacity.

I was not unconscious.

Not delirious every minute.

Not under a guardianship.

Not medically ordered into confinement.

Patricia wrote to a friend:

Claire uses tears to make Michael stop doing what is necessary.

Another:

She says no and everyone jumps because she is pregnant. Someone has to be the adult.

Another:

The baby cannot advocate for herself.

That last sentence became her moral license.

The fetus could not speak.

Therefore Patricia spoke for her.

Against me.

May you like

She convinced herself motherhood had transferred authority out of my body.

That was the central distortion.

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