Soft

Chapter 22 - Luke’s apology

Luke’s apology took therapy.

Lots.

His first version:

“I should have told you.”

True.

Incomplete.

Then:

“I was scared you’d hate Mom.”

Still about outcome.

Then one evening, seven months after he moved out, he sat across from me in our counselor’s office.

“I knew enough.”

I waited.

“I didn’t know exactly what she gave Ella.”

“Yes.”

“I didn’t know she would do it again that Wednesday.”

“Yes.”

“But I knew there was a real possibility she had given our baby something to make her sleep.”

“Yes.”

He swallowed.

“And I didn’t tell you because I knew what you would do.”

“What?”

“Stop letting Mom babysit.”

There.

“I thought that would blow up the family.”

“Yes.”

“So I gambled that Mom was exaggerating and that whatever she had done was harmless.”

His voice broke.

“I gambled with a decision that wasn’t mine.”

I started crying.

Luke continued:

“I told myself I was protecting you from conflict. I was protecting myself from having to choose a side.”

That was it.

The center.

“You chose.”

“I know.”

“How?”

“By staying quiet.”

Exactly.

Then:

“I am sorry I made you find out in a hospital.”

May you like

I did not forgive him that day.

But I believed the apology.

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